The Road to Rollergirl How I Stopped Being a Roller Wannabe and Started Being a Rollergirl

5Jan/120

Yo Dawg, I Heard You Like Challenges

So the old year is done, sent off with a [skate] boot in the ass by my Roller Derby Workout Old Year's Revolution. The winners, Skirt Steak of the Hellions of Troy fresh meat squad and Chrome Molly of the Southern Oregon Rollergirls, will be getting their prizes in the mail. I realized, though, if the point of the competition was to build up momentum for the new year and the Roller Derby Workout Challenge, why stop there? Consider this me holding out my arms and yelling "I'm bridging! I'm bridging!" (Ref note: your arms are irrelevant! When defining position relative to other skaters, listen to Shakira: the hips don't lie!) I decided to run another Fleetly challenge as a "primer" for those folks who just can't wait until January 29th.

12Dec/112

An Old Year’s Revolution

Last weekend, we had our annual end-of-year party and awards ceremony, and guess who took home Best Looking in Stripes? That’s right, this zebra!

With the alcohol flowing and everyone in high spirits, my derby big sister pulled me aside and told me solemnly “You can totally get Best Booty Shorts next year. You can do it.” As I drove home later that night, I thought to myself, yes! I can do it! I can win Best Booty Shorts! Man, I gotta get to working out! What can I say, sometimes a little appeal to one’s vanity is just the kick in the pants they need to make positive changes... But positive change is more fun with friends, so I bring you a fitness challenge!

The hard part about resolutions is that they require a sudden change in behavior, which just seems like a set up for a crash-and-burn into a pile of Oreos by January 6. I thought, why don’t I have an Old Year’s Revolution, and ride the momentum of good habits right into the New Year?!

3Jan/1110

I’ll Take the Physical Challenge

Marc Summer from Double Dare

I always wondered if it was the years of digging through giant noses full of fake boogers that triggered the OCD breakdown.

As you no doubt know, I am a woman of my word when it comes to these New Years Themes. I was going to start the 100 pushup program because it sounds so badass and I want some guns, but I was reminded by the lovely Emily of Octopus on Rollerskates that the Roller Derby Workout Challenge starts on Jan 9th.

They are running the program out of a FB group, which is okay but less than stellar if you are not into Facebook like that (Notes != Blogs, but that's not their fault). So I decided that instead of spamming you with what I ate for breakfast and whatnot, I was going to up the ante a little bit and start a tumblr for it. If you're already on tumblr, you can follow the actual tumblr or its RSS feed.  But you don't really have to because I've set it so that it automatically updates to this page (which you can reach via the handy little "Challenges" link above).  Once this ordeal is over, that will be the home of my next physical challenge, whatever that might be--there WILL be pushups!

What's more, I'm not doing this shit if I can't drag some other people with me! I've created a fancy Roller Derby Workout Challenge badge that I'm sporting over in the sidebar. You'll notice that there is a whole box 'o' html that you can grab for your blog to show your masochistic pride along with me. This thing already looks like it's going to be a doozy (no sugar or refined carbs!), and I think we'll need all the support we can get.

Now I shall go eat a slice of Wonderbread* and a Coca Cola, because these things are OUT come next week!

*Actually, that is a lie. I'd rather eat paper than white bread. Sticky white rice on the other hand... mmm, carbs!

10Jul/100

Derby Mania

I don't know what I was thinking!

This morning, I woke up early to attend an exercise class taught by one of the roller derby girls (sort of like this roller derby workout but on skates and including some derby drills). It was awesome, and even though it was cloudy, by the end, there was sweat pouring off every inch of my body. Major jelly legs at the end of it.

Then about two hours later, I attended another beginner training by the team, which focused on skating skills (stops, falls, form). A good derby stance is a pretty serious squat, and we spent most of the time moving and doing drills, so my quads and butt were so dead by the end of it that I couldn't sit down to pee. I wiped out once and crashed into a wall once (ooops, thank goodness for padding), but it turns out that I'm actually kind of quick! That was really exciting.

Then about two hours after that, I went to a bout to cheer on my favorite team - we won! The other team was pretty scrappy and managed to put a lot of points on the board in the last couple of minutes, but they really didn't stand a chance against our star jammer/team captain, who's a league MVP and a freakin' amazon. (I ran into her at the skate shop the day I bought my roller skates and was totally speechless. It was totally like Porky Pig: bdyuh-bdyuh-bdyuh!)

All in all, awesome day, but I am going to be dead tomorrow for sure. Today it sunk in that I am really serious about doing this, and the magnitude of exactly how much I have to work was a tiiiny bit overwhelming, but I'm seriously excited.

Next goal: practice with the local speed skating team. I need to work on my form and speed at the same time as I'm working on the derby skills.