The Road to Rollergirl How I Stopped Being a Roller Wannabe and Started Being a Rollergirl


An Old Year’s Revolution

Last weekend, we had our annual end-of-year party and awards ceremony, and guess who took home Best Looking in Stripes? That’s right, this zebra!

With the alcohol flowing and everyone in high spirits, my derby big sister pulled me aside and told me solemnly “You can totally get Best Booty Shorts next year. You can do it.” As I drove home later that night, I thought to myself, yes! I can do it! I can win Best Booty Shorts! Man, I gotta get to working out! What can I say, sometimes a little appeal to one’s vanity is just the kick in the pants they need to make positive changes... But positive change is more fun with friends, so I bring you a fitness challenge!

The hard part about resolutions is that they require a sudden change in behavior, which just seems like a set up for a crash-and-burn into a pile of Oreos by January 6. I thought, why don’t I have an Old Year’s Revolution, and ride the momentum of good habits right into the New Year?!

The challenge, which starts on December 15 and runs til the Times Square ball drops on New Year’s Eve (East Coast time), is based on the Roller Derby Workout Challenge that lots of us participated in last January.* For those who didn’t, it consisted of a bunch of simple (notice I said simple, not easy) calisthenic workouts to complement derby practice and the Roller Derby Workout video. Note: you don’t have to be a skater or own the video to participate! Whether your goal is Best Booty Shorts or Best Booty Blocker, land drills on your off-days are a good thing. Especially when those off days include holiday eating marathons.

I have upped the ante a little bit by entering the workouts into Fleetly, a free social fitness website and app that allows you to earn points and badges a la Foursquare, and keep track of your friends’ fitness progress. Therein lies the secret to banishing the workout procrastination bug: the power of peer pressure!

Your challenge in three easy steps:

1. Start a free Fleetly account and join the challenge (and add me as a friend! Free app for the iPhone inclined!)
2. Do the workouts listed on the challenge page and log them for points -- there is partial credit, something is always better than nothing!
3. ???
3. Profit!!

Win a cool badge! And better stuff, too.

And by profit, I mean win some prizes! The winner gets a copy of the new novel Roll With It, autographed by author Heather J. Wood.  The runner-up gets a 2012 calendar sporting the lovely ladies of the Joint Base Lewis-McChord Bettie Brigade as photographed by I-Kandy Photography, featuring an excerpt from my poem “'Twas the Night Before Christmas, Derby Style.” Every participant gets increased energy, stamina, and a fine booty! Okay, maybe we’ll just say each participant gets out of it what they put into it...

I have split the workouts up into the groups based on difficulty (Fresh Meat, Rookie, and Veteran). You can assess where you feel like you are fitness-wise and advance at your own pace; I'm probably starting at Rookie just because I haven't done off-skates workouts in a shameful amount of time. This is a short sprint of a challenge to help us hit the ground running in 2012. Depending on how it goes, I might continue the Fleetly challenge when the actual Roller Derby Workout Challenge rolls around in January.

Good luck to everyone!! Let's knock the shit out of 2011 and sneak up on 2012.

* You may remember that the Roller Derby Workout Challenge involved a diet that was based off of the Eat Clean diet, and approved by a nutritionist. I found that it was a little bit stressful and confusing for people, so I am not including diet in this mini-challenge because I’m no nutritionist, and I can’t make suggestions for vegetarian/vegan/gluten-free substititons, etc. So I encourage everyone to use their common sense about food and make sure to have a post-workout snack that includes a little protein, a little fat, and a little sugar.

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  1. My favorite post-practice snacks are vanilla whey protein and milk (of the drinker’s choice, like, soy, rice, 2%, skim, etc) over ice, or rice crackers with almond butter and agave syrup.

  2. Hell yes, that sounds delicious! I hope you’re going to be taking the challenge!

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